It’s DAY THREE of PORTMANIA!
We made it this far! I can’t believe it!
What happens on DAY three?! Now that we’re officially started, We can REALLY get Started! That’s what!!
So now let’s get started quick!! and to the point!
Before we get started, though, there’s some announcements to make that everyone will love and care about!!
First! The MOST IMPORTANT News of the DAY: I’ve gotten a haircut!!
Oh no! No one cares about my haircut!! We should have quit while we were ahead, but that’s the cookie crumbling all over my pants. That’s the saying, right?
You know how it is. Those of you who wear pants? How cookies crumble all over and people know you’ve been eating Cookies. and you try to vacuum but you sold your vacuum cleaner to BUY COOKIES! IT’S A VICIOUS CYCLE! A CATCH-22!!!
But don’t worry. Cookies, cupcakes, and all sorts of delicious desserts are part of PORTMANIA!! and have been from the beginning! So NO SHAME!! Eat all the cupcakes you want. Unless you’re diabetic. Then DO NOT EAT CUPCAKES!!! Maybe pancakes? I don’t know. There’s probably diabetic pancakes. it’s 2023. No syrup though. That’s for sure. or maybe there’s sugar free syrup?! IT’S 2023!! Let’s see what Natalie has to say…
Natalie eats pancake cupcakes! so should you!!! I found a great cupcake recipe a few years ago. You go to the store and buy cupcakes. it’s easy and there’s no mess to clean up. Except the DAMN COOKIE CRUMBS ON YOUR PANTS!!!
Anyway. You take care of yourself this PORTMANIA!
Second Most Important News: Penguins are WEIRD but OKAY!!!!!
Oh No! Again! No one cares about Penguins!! The PORTMANIA Theme is a bust!! People just want Natalie Content!!!
OK OK!! How about a Natalie FACT! (WARNING: Natalie FACTS contain small parts and are not for children under 3 years old!)
Natalie FACT! Natalie Portman has FEET! Two of them! One at the bottom of each leg. No one knows for sure how they got there. Some say she was BORN WITH THEM! Others say that she got them while she was in France.
Lots of people don’t notice her feet because she wears SHOES over them and sometimes Socks under those!?!? why is she so ashamed of her FEET?!? Some say the shoes and socks are just for protection. From rocks and dirt on the ground. Others say it’s because her feet are DEER FEET. like that guy in the Fall Out Boy video!
That’s all for DAY THREE of PORTMANIA! Day Four should be tomorrow! If we all experience time the same way!! But that’s good news for all of us that do! Because Day 4 is when PORTMANIA really gets started!!
Happiness is PORTMANIA!